The Business of Misery Chapter III

The Business of Misery

Chapter 3: Hell Comes to U.Z.Z.

Gardevoir shook her head in disbelief, her mouth agape in shock. She couldn't believe what her eyes were gazing at. She tried to come up with thousands of excuses in her head, but none were fitting to the kind of situation Ray was in.

Oh my Lord! Gardevoir thought. I must save the prisoner.

"Victor, tell your Lucario to use his wrist spikes to break off the cuffs and shackles and then to break the cage." Gardevoir told her godson imperatively.

"Will do, Gardevoir. Lucario, use your wrist spikes!" Victor yelled out.

Lucario did as he was told and faster than a Pikachu could cry out its name while using Thunderbolt, the chains and shackles were cut and the cage was destroyed.

"Now to get the gag ball out of his mouth…." Gardevoir wondered. In a few moments, she went behind Ray and untied the attachment strings of the gag ball.

"Thank you." Ray appreciated.

"You're welcome." Gardevoir responded.

"Now…where are Millenia, her posse, Arachne, and Alphonse? Where are they? I'll kill them! I'll fuckin' kill them!" Ray asked out aggressively.

"Well," Gardevoir started to speak. "Millenia and her entourage are pissing the night away at a club, we don't know where Arachne is right now (I'm assuming she's killing a few people in the city as we speak), and as for Alphonse, he is working in the main pod at U.Z.Z."

"Hold on, why is Alphonse back at U.Z.Z?" Ray asked once again.

"Didn't you send a letter about going on holiday and being indecisive about whether or not you would be leaving, and that you specifically wrote down that you personally hand-chose Alphonse to take your place while you were gone?" Victor answered with another question.

"There are three flaws with your theory, Victor," Ray started to explain. "One, I never wrote that letter or sent it. Two, I wouldn't choose Alphonse to take my place, not even in a million years. And three, how could I write the letter when I'm blind?"

"Ah…of course!" Gardevoir realized. "Victor's never tried to get along with Alphonse so there would be issues working together up the ass." Then she realized something else. "Ray, did you notice everything Alphonse did in the past?"

"Yes." Ray replied.

"Did you also know about Alphonse being Millenia's special minion and about the worms in Sunako's lab?" Gardevoir interrogated.

"Alphonse being Millenia's special minion?" Ray repeated. "That I know about. Let me explain."

"Explain away, Ray." Gardevoir encouraged.

"I walked into the K.U.L.T casino about four evenings ago, scouring for my sunglasses, because earlier that day, I dropped them somewhere in the casino. Whilst doing that, Arachne came up to me. I merely thought she was just a guide and asked her where my sunglasses could possibly be. She said she knew and retracted to the lair up the stairs. As soon as she came back, Alphonse was right behind her, she was holding a box cutter utility knife in her hand, and Alphonse was holding some sort of vodka in his hands.

"I thought she misunderstood so I told her the knife wasn't mine and I didn't know why I'd use that. Before I could finish, though, she slashed my shoulders, the upper part of my torso, and the upper parts of my arms. I asked her what the hell she was doing while I was also screaming in pain and that's when Alphonse took the cap off of the vodka and said, 'Here's some magic restorative water.' I consented and took a drink, but that was a big mistake, because not only did it drug me, it also temporarily blinded me."

"Oh, dear," Gardevoir responded after the story was wrapped up. "That's…terrible that they would do this to you. Are you sure Alphonse didn't do anything else?"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure," Ray returned.

"In that case, Wonder Boner must be warned," Victor said outright.

"Wonder Boner?" Ray asked, before laughing hysterically.

"Yes, it's his name of the day until tomorrow." Gardevoir responded, also laughing out loud.

"We better get moving before Millenia comes back," Victor alerted his godmother and best friend.

"Yes, of course," Gardevoir concurred as she sensed a presence that was coming rather slowly.

So the three of them ran out of the casino as fast as they possibly could, before eventually tiring themselves out. Gardevoir decided to use her Teleport attack to transfer herself and her two favorite son-figures back to the house she and her husband Gengar and his other wife Mismagius shared with Professor Professor, Doctor Doctor, and their own twins, Dustin and Namine.

"Why don't you come inside and relax for a minute?" Gardevoir requested.

"Thank you for the offer, Gardevoir," Victor replied gratefully.

Meanwhile, back at his house, his wife Anita and their mutual friend Ninetales were preparing to get Emerson and Vinita ready for bed. Ninetales had nudged a book called "Llama Llama Misses Mama" off of a shelf with her nose and pleaded with her eyes to read the book to the children before they drifted off to sleep.

As if by random, there was a tap at the nursery window, and then another, and then another, until two Sneasel broke through and started to punch the females, who were caught off-guard. One Sneasel kicked Anita in the ribs, while the other coldcocked Ninetales. Ninetales tried to lunge at the agile Pokémon, but she found herself getting a head stomp that was so great, she was knocked unconscious. It wasn't until a few moments later that Hannibal came in through the same busted window and started to chase after Anita, distracting her in the process while the two Sneasel snatched the infants from their cribs and took off, leaving the same way they entered. Anita used her martial arts to do her best to defend herself from the intimidating Zoroark, but it was no use, even though Hannibal was sustaining injuries. In spite of a few fresh cuts and bruises, Hannibal was still able to punch Anita in the abdomen and run off, carrying her over his shoulder.

Back with Gardevoir, she suddenly had a throbbing migraine.

"Gardevoir, are you okay?" Ray concernedly asked his friend's godmother.

"No," she replied. "Something's wrong. I know it."

Gardevoir ran out of her house towards her godson's house and was soon being followed. When she arrived, Gardevoir was shocked to find blood on the floor, but what really caught her attention was seeing her friend Ninetales out cold in the nursery with forming bruises on her face.

"Ninetales, what happened?" Gardevoir asked, still in shock, when Ninetales started coming to.

"I don't exactly know myself, but I think…Anita, Emerson, and Vinita were kidnapped." Ninetales replied in a terrified manner, shaking rather chillingly.