Fight to Stay Alive Chapter 1

Outside his house on Rainey Street in the suburbs of Arlen, Texas, Hank Hill and his friends were standing with their backs against the fence while they drank beer.

"Yep." Hank Hill simply stated.

"Yep." the gaunt Dale Gribble also said.

"Eeyup." the balding, portly Bill Dauterive said as well.

"Mm-hmm." blond and slender Boomhauer sounded.

At once, they all took a sip.

"These armadillos have become a real problem, I tell you what." Hank was the first to speak after their synchronized drink. "Why, just this morning, I was driving to work and I almost ran one over. Have you even seen the way they jump into the air like that?"

Boomhauer mumbled, "Yeah, they jump straught up in the air, man. I can't even tell ya how high they can jump, man, since I can't remember the last time I actually saw one jump..." before his speech devolved into unintelligible nonsense. He took another sip of his can of beer.

Dale contributed to the conversation with, "I bet them armadillos are gathering for a ritual to bring about their queen who will conquer the world."

Hank couldn't help but roll his eyes at the thought. The four neighbors had only known each other for so long that Hank had stopped caring about being the only sane man in the group and the others being only dysfunctional but beneficiary members.

"I don't know about that." Hank said. "But I do know that something has to be done about those armadillos. Where are they coming from anyway?"

The other three shrugged out of ignorance.

*****

Later that night, Hank and his wife Peggy were getting ready for bed when out of the blue, the living room phone began to ring.

"Hold on." Hank sighed. "I'll get it."

He walked out of the master bedroom into the living room and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" the middle-aged man immediately answered.

"I hear you've been having a real problem with these armadillos lately." a somewhat meek and effeminate voice responded. "Perhaps I could be of some assistance?"

"I'm sorry. You got the wrong number."

"You don't understand. There's a reason why armadillos are popping up where you live."

"I don't really care why they're showing up. All I know is that I don't want to see them again."

"Seriously. You need to hear me out."

"No, you need to hear me out. I don't have time to listen to your dribble-drabble. Now get off or else I'll have to call the authorities."

Just like that, whoever was on the other end hung up. Hank groaned out of frustration and returned to bed.