All in the Family Chapter 19

Mistress Minor and the soldiers had been waiting near the iron gateway for hours now. The black soldier Charlie Brown and his buddies were getting impatient and whining like children.

"When can we eat?" Charlie Brown asked.

"Damnit, men!" Mistress Minor shouted. "I'm getting sick of all of you whining about nothing happening and not having anything to eat or drink! Just focus on your job! Who knows? Maybe you'll be lucky enough to live and get some food after this or something."

Just as she had said that, the iron gateway exploded from the outside. On the other side were the the Cuban Leader Acacia and her native troops. Hera, a six-and-a-half-foot-tall blonde Greek goddess, and Loki, a raven-haired Nordic god, were walking besides the troops as they marched through the ruins. The soldiers, upon seeing the troops and deities, drew up their pistols and pointed them toward the enemy.

"Good job, men!" Mistress Minor shouted. "Now fire and make them pay!"

The soldiers did as they told, but they sadly missed their targets. This led Marguerite to facepalm so badly that it left a red handprint. The Cubans fired back and all but of a few of Mistress Minor's soldiers were instantly felled.

"Mistress Major!" Charlie Brown shouted. "Mistress Major! We're under attack!"

Upon hearing her name being called, Mistress Major ran towards her daughter and the soldiers. She gasped when she saw Leader Acacia, her troops and the deities Hera and Loki standing where the iron gateway once was.

"Oh my God..." she gasped.

Acacia Castro-Avila came forward. She had light brown skin, ebony hair with skunk stripes done in a pixie-cut, dark brown eyes, a round face, and an arched nose. On her head was a pillbox hat done in camouflage. She was dressed in a camouflage suit, white pantyhose and had on leather boots. Through the oversized coke-bottle glasses, Acacia glared at Mistress Major and scowled softly. As soon as Acacia and Mistress Major came face-to-face, the rest of Superjail came out to watch the two women have a verbal showdown. Warden looked as though he would piss himself.

"Hello... Mistress Major." Acacia said dramatically.

"Hello to you too, Leader Acacia." Mistress Major said out of spite.

"Might I ask how you plan to defeat my nation?"

"If you must know, we were formulating on a plan to unleash human-sloth hybrids to overcome your precious country and then devastate the United States government into giving up their power."

"Oh, have mercy on my soul. We'll be attacked by deadly human hybrids. Sloth-men. My God." Leader Acacia said sarcastically.

"Like you have anything better." Mistress Major snarked back.

"Hey!" Mistress Minor came towards Leader Acacia and tried to replace her mother as the snarking jouster. "I don't know who you think you are, but if there's one thing I'm sure you could never be, it would be God."

"Marguerite..." Warden warned softly. "No..."

"Dad, butt out." Mistress Minor flatly said. She went back to her speech toward Leader Acacia. "You think you're so tough, don't you, Acacia? You think you can just sneer all you like and rule from your throne until your son Fidel is ready, don't you, Acacia? Well, I've got three words for you: Go. To. Hell. And I'll say them again. Go. To. Hell."

"Maggie, darling, I don't think that's a good idea." Mistress Major tried to say.

"And those threats about reducing me and my family and my friends to limbless, blind, deaf and sewn-up dummies?" Mistress Minor resumed, ignoring her mom's warning. "Guess what? They don't scare me one bit! Ha!"

"Marguerite, I think that's quite enough." Warden interjected.

"Dad, let me handle this." Mistress Minor, who was on the ends of her nerves, said through her teeth. She then focused her attention again on Leader Acacia. "I'm tired of waiting for this STUPID war to be over. And I'm tired of people like you who insist that the world revolves around them and that they know their destiny when they know nothing! I don't know my destiny but I don't feel the need to act confident that I do. And that's your worst flaw of all: overconfidence. You can't hurt us, like you say you can anymore, than my father's father has, or Lord Stingray when he first came to us, or the man who killed Grandma."

Mistress Major, having had just enough of this nonsense, then called off her daughter and resumed her snarking.

"I'm keen to guess: you're going to screw me over?" Mistress Major asked.

Leader Acacia nodded her head yes.

"Okay." Mistress Major said. "Fair enough. I didn't exactly expect to get out of this war alive anyway, but so what? I'm not going to go out like a pussy. Because you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to pull out my magic gun and finally use it after all these years."

She did so and shot Leader Acacia once in the left shoulder.

"GAH!" Leader Acacia shouted in pain.

Mistress Minor gasped.

"Do it again, Mom!" she shouted in encouragement. "I think that might be the one thing to defeat her!"

Mistress Major shot again, this time the bullet hitting Leader Acacia in her left mammary gland.

"Tut!" Leader Acacia scoffed while reeling from the pain. "Two can play at that game! Troops, sic the others! Hera, Loki, we may need you later."

"Certainly." Hera and Loki said together.

Leader Acacia produced a miniature cannon that could easily fit in her hand, pressed a button on that cannon and shot at Mistress Major below her right mammary gland. Mistress Major flinched for a moment, but then whopped Leader Acacia upside the head with the magic gun's hammer. Meanwhile, with a shrieking cry, the Cuban troops charged toward everyone else.

"Jailbot X, NOVA Gemini, Alice, Bruce, attack!" Warden shouted.

Upon hearing their names, the X-shaped black robot, pink humanoid fembot and two transsexuals rushed into action. As NOVA Gemini happily hitched a ride on her stepbrother and shot lasers with him, Alice and Bruce were competing for whoever had the most casualties. The idea of luring Cubans to their dooms alone was titillating enough for Alice to get a literal lady erection. As soon as an enemy troop drew near, she happily stripped down right in front of him.

"Hey, baby." Alice said seductively. "You want to get lucky?"

"O-okay..." the troop simply said.

Just as he was in very close range, Alice kneed him in the crotch several times before knocking him down to the ground and crushing his skull with her bare hands.

"Heh heh. I still got it." she laughed to herself.

Bruce groaned in disgust as he snapped another troop's neck, killing him instantly.

"My God, are you still whoring yourself out?" he asked, still in disgust.

"Who asked you?" Alice shouted just as she was moving on to the next target.

As the opposing forces were fighting, Leader Acacia and Mistress Major shot each other back and forth, with her magic gun and her mini cannon. And that was when Mistress Major decided to turn the magic on her gun up to eleven. As the energy in the gun was charging, Leader Acacia was loading her cannon with special ammo. The surviving percentage of Superjail and the remaining Cuban troops stopped fighting so they could watch what was to become of the showdown betwixt Mistress Major and Leader Acacia. Both sides cheered their support all the way and then...

Mistress Major's magic gun went off and shot Leader Acacia in the face so hard that she was totally and utterly vaporized! The recoil from the blast sent Mistress Major flying backward at about three feet and she hit the ground, head-first.

"Superjail residents, victory is ours!" Warden announced.

His side cheered with joy as the Cubans were frustrated over the fact that they had lost the battle.

"God-fucking-damnit!" one of the enemy troops shouted as he threw down his rifle.

As his allies were cheering, Warden suddenly noticed that Mistress Major wasn't moving and he rushed over to her. She was badly burnt on parts of her face and body and she was bleeding profusely.

"Mistress..." he said softly.

"Superjail out of danger?" she asked weakly.

"Yes." he replied.

"Don't grieve, Warden. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh..."

"...the needs of the few..."

"...or the one."

Warden tried to keep himself from shedding any tears, but he found that it was hard not to.

"I never thought I would be the one to end this war until now." Mistress said, still weakly. "What do you think of my solution?"

"It was very good, Mistress." Warden responded, misty-eyed. "It was very good."

"I have been and always shall be... your friend. I love you, husband."

"I love you too, wife."

Finally, Mistress ceased to breathe once more. All Warden could say was a whimpering "No." and all he could do was try not to cry.